JOHN 20:19-23
I KNOW A MAN WHO MET HIS
WIFE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL. HIS STORY IS NOT UNUSUAL. HE SAW HER IN
THE PARKING LOT A FEW TIMES, AND FELT AN ATTRACTION. HE SAID THAT
BEFORE HE EVER SPOKE TO HER, BEFORE HE EVER TOOK HER ON A DATE, HE
KNEW SHE WAS THE WOMAN HE WOULD MARRY. AND OF COURSE, WHEN HE KNEW
THIS, HE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I KNOW A YOUNG WOMAN WHO GOT TO
KNOW A GUY WHO WAS A RELATIVE OF ONE OF HER FRIENDS. THEY WENT OUT
ON A COUPLE OF CASUAL DATES, AND SHE DECIDED AT SOME POINT THAT HE
WAS THE GUY FOR HER. FOR A GIRL TO LAND A GUY, YOU HAVE TO BE MORE
SUBTLE, AND MAKE THE GUY THINK HE IS DOING ALL THE DECIDING. THIS
YOUNG LADY WAS VERY SMART AND DETERMINED, AND SURE ENOUGH, THE GUY
THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN PURSUING HER AND FINALLY WON HER HEART, EXACTLY
AS PLANNED. BOTH COUPLES ARE HAPPILY MARRIED.
COURTSHIP IS AN
INTERESTING PHENOMENON. ONE PERSON TAKES THE LEAD IN WINNING THE
AFFECTIONS OF THE OTHER. IF COURTSHIP IS SUCCESSFUL, THEN THE OTHER
WILL EVENTUALLY RECIPROCATE THOSE AFFECTIONS. THE GOAL OF COURTSHIP
IS UNION – FOR TWO TO BECOME ONE FLESH.
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS, AMONG
OTHER THINGS, GOD COURTING THE HUMAN SOUL. GOD LONGS TO BE ONE WITH
HIS CREATION, WITH YOU AND I. LIKE ANYONE DESIRING TO AWAKEN LOVE
IN THE BELOVED, HE COMES BEARING GIFTS. THERE ARE THE TRADITIONAL
GIFTS – WISDOM, UNDERSTANDING, KNOWLEDGE, COUNSEL, FORTITUDE,
PIETY. AND FEAR OF THE LORD. WHEN SOMEONE IS COURTING HIS OR HER
LOVER, ONE OF THE THINGS YOU SEE IS THAT EACH WANTS TO SHOW THE OTHER
SOMETHING HE OR SHE LOVES. “YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS? WE'LL
WATCH IT TOGETHER!” YOU'VE NEVER HIKED UP MOUNT TOM? YOU'VE GOT
TO GO WITH ME. THE VIEW FROM THE TOP IS WORTH THE TRIP.” THE
TRADITIONAL SEVEN GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT HELP US TO SEE THE WORLD
MORE CLEARLY, TO SEE IT AS GOD SEES IT. THE FIRST FOUR ARE GIFTS TO
OUR MINDS, HELPING US TO BETTER KNOW OURSELVES, OUR NEIGHBORS AND OUR
GOD. THE LAST THREE ARE GIFTS THAT TRAIN OUR SPIRITS; STRENGTH TO
PERSIST, THE VISION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP TO GOD, AND THE INNER SENSE
THAT TELLS US WHEN GOD IS PRESENT. OUR LOVER, THE HOLY SPIRIT, WANTS
TO AWAKEN IN US THE DESIRE FOR UNION WITH HIM.
WHEN WE'VE BEGUN TO
RESPOND TO HIS ADVANCES, WE BEGIN TO NOTICE WHAT ARE CALLED THE
TWELVE FRUITS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. THESE ARE CHARITY, JOY, PEACE,
PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENEROSITY, GENTLENESS, FAITHFULNESS,
MODESTY, SELF-CONTROL, CHASTITY. SOONER OR LATER AMONG HUMAN LOVERS,
THERE IS A POINT WHERE THE QUESTION ARISES: IS THIS RELATIONSHIP
MAKING ME BETTER OR WORSE? AND WE ALL KNOW OF TRAGIC SITUATIONS
WHERE A MAN AND A WOMAN FALL IN LOVE AND EVENTUALLY IT TURNS OUT THAT
ONE OR BOTH ARE FAR WORSE OFF THAN IF THEY'D NEVER MET. IDEALLY,
THERE SHOULD BE SOME SIGNAL EARLY ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP THAT
CONTINUING ALONG THE PATH WILL MAKE THEM BOTH BETTER PEOPLE. AND
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS AS THE HOLY SPIRIT COURTS OUR SOULS; WE BEGIN TO
NOTICE THAT WE ARE TAKING ON SOME OF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF JESUS;
WE ARE DEVELOPING GOD-LIKE VIRTUES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE HOLY
SPIRIT BRINGS ABOUT IN US – TO MAKE US MORE LIKE GOD, OR TO BE MORE
PRECISE, LIKE GOD IN THE FLESH, JESUS.
BUT THE HOLY SPIRIT IS
NOT THROUGH WITH US! WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN FALL IN LOVE, THEY HAVE
TO MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM FALLING IN LOVE TO BEING IN LOVE. BEING
IN LOVE TAKES WORK, WORK THAT HAS TO BE DONE EVERY DAY. WE HAVE TO
WAKE UP WITH THE INTENTION THAT TODAY I AM GOING TO LOVE MY SPOUSE,
EVEN IF SHE ISN'T VERY LOVEABLE BEFORE SHE'S HAD HER COFFEE, EVEN IF
HE COMES HOME FROM WORK GROUCHY AND IRRITABLE. AND LET'S FACE IT, WE
DON'T ALWAYS SUCCEED IN BEING IN LOVE; SOMETIMES WE BECOME ANGRY WITH
OUR SPOUSE, SOMETIMES WE FEEL VERY HURT; SOMETIMES WE FAIL TO
RECOGNIZE WHAT HE OR SHE WANTS FROM US, BECAUSE WE ARE TOO INVOLVED
WITH THE TELEVISION OR THE COMPUTER OR WORK THAT WE'VE BROUGHT HOME.
SO BEING IN LOVE REQUIRES FREQUENT FORGIVENESS. WHEN WE WAKE UP WITH
THE INTENTION THAT WE ARE GOING TO LOVE OUR SPOUSE TODAY, WE NEED TO
HAVE THE INTENTION TO FORGIVE HIM OR HER AS WELL. THE HOLY SPIRIT
BEING GOD, IS NOT A NEGLECTFUL LOVER. BUT WE CAN BE, AND WE CAN ALSO
MISUNDERSTAND WHAT THE SPIRIT IS TELLING US; WE GET SICK, WE HAVE A
TRAGEDY IN OUR LIVES; MAYBE SOMEDAY WE WILL SEE HOW ALL THIS WORKS
OUT IN GOD'S GOOD TIME, BUT RIGHT NOW WE ARE ANGRY WITH GOD. TODAY
JESUS GIVES THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS TO HIS APOSTLES. WE UNDERSTAND
THAT, OF COURSE, AS THE MOMENT WHEN THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION
IS GIVEN TO THE CHURCH. BUT WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO FORGIVE, AND WE
NEED TO EXERCISE IT. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT IMPLY THAT THE PERSON WE
ARE FORGIVING DID ANYTHING WRONG – ANY HUSBAND AND WIFE WHO ARE
HONEST WITH THEMSELVES KNOW THAT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ONE BECAME
OFFENDED BY THE OTHER THROUGH A MISUNDERSTANDING OR MISINTERPRETATION
OF AN ACTION. FORGIVENESS OF THE OTHER ALWAYS MEANS THAT I AM
PUTTING THE BARRIER THAT AROSE BEHIND ME SO THAT I CAN CONTINUE TO
BE IN LOVE. THE HOLY SPIRIT CONSTANTLY FORGIVES US, AND WE NEED TO
FORGIVE GOD SOMETIMES, WHICH MEANS THAT WE NEED TO GET ANGRY WITH GOD
ONCE IN A WHILE. SPOUSES WHO ARE MATURE IN THEIR LOVE KNOW THAT
SOMETIMES IT'S IMPORTANT TO CLEAR THE AIR, BECAUSE AFTERWARD LOVE
GROWS.
THE HOLY SPIRIT IS GOD
LOVING US, AND HE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON US. HE GIVES US EVERYTHING
WE NEED TO RETURN HIS LOVE, AND HAS EVEN GIVEN US A FREE WILL SO THAT
WE CAN GROW IN LOVE. IF WE WEREN'T FREE TO CHOOSE, WE COULD NEVER
CHOOSE TO SURRENDER TO THE LOVER OF OUR SOULS. A MAN AND WOMAN WHO
HAVE LIVED LIFE TOGETHER, WHO HAVE WORKED AT BEING IN LOVE, WHO HAVE
BECOME BETTER PERSONS BECAUSE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP, WHO HAVE LEARNED
TO FORGIVE – EVENTUALLY GROW TOGETHER. THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THEM
WELL MIGHT NOT GET THIS, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO DO, THE CHILDREN, THE
GRANDCHILDREN, CANNOT CONCEIVE OF MOM WITHOUT DAD OR VICE-VERSA, AND
IN THOSE SAD SITUATIONS WHERE A LOVING COUPLE HAS BEEN BROKEN UP BY
DEATH, THOSE WHO KNOW THEM WELL WILL ALWAYS NOTICE SOMETHING
INCOMPLETE IN THE ONE WHO REMAINS. WHEN WE SURRENDER TO THE HOLY
SPIRIT, WE GROW TOGETHER WITH GOD, AND BEGIN TO RESEMBLE JESUS
CHRIST, WHO WAS CONCEIVED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT IN MARY, AND WHO IS
CONCEIVED IN OUR SOULS BY THE SPIRIT AS WELL. HUMAN LOVERS CANNOT
LIVE IN LOVE FOR ALL TIME; WE HAVE A FINITE AMOUNT OF TIME TO LOVE
AND GROW IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON. BUT THE LOVE OFFERED BY THE
HOLY SPIRIT, IF WE ACCEPT IT, WILL NEVER END, BUT ONLY GROW AND GROW
UNTIL WE ARE ONE WITH OUR BELOVED FOR ALL ETERNITY.
