Matthew 1:18-24
If you read the old testament, or are a student of history, the overwhelming picture you get of marriage is that there is a hierarchy -- the man is the center, the woman is concerned to please the man, and the children are expected to honor the mother but even more, to submit themselves to the father’s will. Male children were expected to follow the father’s trade, or take over the family farm. Female children were often pawns in the father’s efforts to better himself; arranged marriages benefited the father. One of the things about Joseph is that he introduces a new way to be a father; he is not the dominating lord of the family, but is the servant leader instead.
In the days of Joseph and Mary, when a young woman reached the age of 15 or so, her father would seek a husband for her. A decent father would be thinking about his daughter’s welfare, but also about what a young man could bring to the family. And in truth the young woman had very little to say about who her father chose for her. The Jews were more enlightened than the surrounding societies; Jewish girls could say “no” to an arranged marriage, but it wasn’t a good idea if you wanted to stay in your dad’s good graces.
Once your future husband was selected, there was an elaborate ceremony of betrothal. And after this, the young woman was considered married, although she still lived with her parents and had no relations with her husband. That had to wait about a year or so, when the husband would have built a home and established himself in a trade. When this happened he would notify his bride that he was coming to pick her up and move into her new home, and a great party would be held. Jesus describes this in the parable of the wise and foolish virgins.
Joseph and Mary were betrothed but had not lived together. And when Mary is found to be with child, Joseph decides to divorce her quietly. Can you imagine his heartbreak? Saint Augustine said that Joseph decided to divorce Mary because as a good Jew he would offend God by taking an adulterous woman as a wife. Joseph loved Mary, but loved God more. Saint Jerome says that Joseph learned from Mary that her pregnancy was an act of God; his impulse was to get out of the way -- much as he loved Mary, if God wanted her, he did not want to interfere. Joseph was willing to give up Mary because he loved God more.
And something new happened. Joseph took Mary to be his wife because he was told to do so by an angel. And we can almost feel the relationship that Matthew describes. Joseph takes Mary into his home despite the stares and snide remarks of the townspeople - either Joe could not control himself, or Joe is marrying a defiled woman. Joseph gets another dream, and immediately takes his new family to Egypt for a couple of years. When they return because of still another dream, Joseph settles down to a life of manual labor, taking care of his wife and foster son, fading into the background until his death, sometime before Jesus goes out on his public ministry,
Joseph is a descendant of King David. He is told to give Jesus his name, linking Jesus to the lineage of David. Other than that, Joseph never sees his son perform a miracle (the first miracle, according to scripture, was at the wedding feast of Cana). He never hears his son preach to the multitudes. As Joseph takes care of his family, teaches his son his trade, practices his Jewish religion faithfully, he is given no glimpse of what is to come. His faithfulness and devotion are there, however, as they were before he received the first command of God in a dream.
And that’s interesting. I’ve had dreams. You also. But have you ever done something because of a dream? We see in the Old Testament that God sometimes communicated with people through dreams. The other Joseph, the one who became the right hand man of the ruler of Egypt; Samuel the Prophet, and a few others. But in the New Testament Joseph is the only one God speaks to in dreams. And I wonder if Joseph was like you and I and wondered if the dream was really from God. No flashing lights, miracles, explosions -- just having a dream and deciding it was from God and doing what you were told.
. If there is any patron of an ordinary blessed life, Joseph is the patron. A man who spent his life trying to be righteous, trying always to put God first, and ready always to instantly obey when called upon by God, even to giving up his bride, even to taking his wife and son to live in a foreign country, even to get up every morning and do the same thing he did yesterday and would do tomorrow. Joseph, the patron saint of an ordinary life.
