23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle C

LUKE 14:25-33
MOST OF US COME TO CHURCH AND PRACTICE OUR RELIGION FOR SOME BASIC REASONS: WE FIND CONSOLATION AND THE PROMISE OF A BETTER WORLD; WE BELIEVE THAT PRACTICING OUR FAITH WILL MEAN THAT GOD WILL LOOK AFTER US MORE THAN HE MIGHT OTHERWISE; AND SOME OF US PRACTICE OUR FAITH BECAUSE WE FEAR WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF WE STOP. NOW GRANTED THESE AREN'T THE ONLY REASONS, BUT I SUSPECT DEEP DOWN THOSE KIND OF REASONS ANCHOR US. BUT LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF SOMEONE WHO PRACTICED HER FAITH TO A DEGREE ALMOST UNHEARD OF IN TODAY' S WORLD.
“LORD, MY GOD, YOU HAVE THROWN [ME] AWAY AS UNWANTED – UNLOVED. I CALL, I CLING, I WANT, AND THERE IS NO ONE TO ANSWER, NO, NO ONE. ALONE. WHERE IS MY FAITH? EVEN DEEP DOWN RIGHT IN THERE IS NOTHING. I HAVE NO FAITH. I DARE NOT UTTER THE WORDS AND THOUGHTS THAT CROWD IN MY HEART.” “I AM TOLD GOD LOVES ME, AND YET THE REALITY OF THE DARKNESS AND COLDNESS AND EMPTINESS IS SO GREAT THAT NOTHING TOUCHES MY SOUL. DID I MAKE A MISTAKE IN SURRENDERING BLINDLY TO THE CALL OF THE SACRED HEART?”
THOSE WERE THE SECRET THOUGHTS THAT PLAGUED MOTHER THERESA DURING THE LAST FORTY YEARS OF HER LIFE, THE THOUGHTS THAT SHE ONLY CONFIDED IN HER CONFESSOR, THE THOUGHTS THAT WERE RECENTLY ASSEMBLED IN A BOOK AND MADE PUBLIC. THERE WERE MANY REACTIONS TO THESE THOUGHTS. CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS, A VOCAL ATHEIST, LEAPT UPON THESE REVELATIONS AS PROOF THAT MOTHER THERESA WAS A FRAUD, THAT WHILE SHE PRESENTED ONE FACE TO THE WORLD – A FACE OF JOY AND DEDICATION, HER INNER SELF DID NOT BELIEVE AT ALL. ON THE OUTSIDE SHE SPOKE OF GOD'S LOVE, SHE SPENT TWO HOURS A DAY BEFORE THE EUCHARIST, SHE PREACHED SIMPLY AND POWERFULLY TO ALL WHO WOULD LISTEN. BUT HITCHENS WOULD SAY, SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THAT.
ON THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM, BELIEVERS SPOKE OF HER DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL, A SITUATION MANY SAINTS WENT THROUGH DURING THEIR LIVES. LISTEN TO WHAT ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS SAID ABOUT THIS: “THERE COMES TO ALL SOULS, AT LEAST ONCE IN LIFE, A SEVERE TEST. IT IS KNOWN AS THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL. IT IS WHEN WE ARE BELEAGUERED BY DARKNESS: SPIRITUAL AND MENTAL AND WHERE NO HOPE SEEMS TO BE NEAR...” ST. JOHN ALSO SAYS THAT IT IS VERY COMMON FOR SOULS WHO ENTER THIS DARK NIGHT TO FEEL AS THOUGH THEY ARE WASTING THEIR TIME PRACTICING THEIR RELIGION, PRAYING, ATTENDING MASS.
HAVE YOU EVER FELT THAT THERE IS NOTHING OUT THERE? HAVE YOU EVER FELT ABANDONED BY GOD, OR TEMPTED TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GOD? I HAVE. AND FOR A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY GOD AT SOME POINT, THESE FEELINGS ARE DOUBLY PAINFUL.
JESUS TELLS US TODAY THAT IF WE WANT TO FOLLOW HIM WE HAVE TO HATE OUR LOVED ONES. THE ARAMAIC WORD HE USED DOES NOT REALLY MEAN THE SAME THING AS HATE MEANS IN ENGLISH. IT IS LESS INTENSE, IT MEANS SOMETHING LIKE “NOT PREFER”. SO THE SENSE IS, IF WE ARE TO BE FOLLOWERS, WE MUST NOT PREFER ANYTHING IN OUR EXPERIENCE TO JESUS. AND JESUS GOES ON TO REINFORCE THIS POINT – IF YOU INTEND TO BE A DISCIPLE, YOU BETTER SIT DOWN AND DECIDE WHETHER YOU HAVE IT IN YOU, WHETHER YOU CAN GO THE DISTANCE. BECAUSE THERE WILL BE DARK NIGHTS AHEAD, NIGHTS WHEN YOU FEEL TOTALLY ABANDONED, SOME OF THEM PERHAPS LASTING YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF SAYING WITH THE PROPHET JEREMIAH, O LORD, YOU DECEIVED ME, AND I LET MYSELF BE DECEIVED ; YOU OVERPOWERED ME AND PREVAILED; I AM RIDICULED ALL DAY LONG; EVERYONE MOCKS ME”. OR, YOU MAY, IN FACT, CRY OUT AT THE TIME OF YOUR DEATH, “MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”
SO WHY DOES GOD DO THIS TO US? WHY DOES A DARK NIGHT AWAIT EVERYONE WHO VENTURES FORTH ON THE NARROW PATH TO FOLLOW CHRIST? ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS SAYS THAT THIS IS GOD'S WAY OF GETTING US TO ABANDON ALL OUR ATTACHMENTS TO GOD'S CREATED GIFTS, SO THAT WE CAN POSSESS HIM ALONE. BECAUSE AS LONG AS WE HAVE NOT REACHED THAT STATE, OUR UNION WITH HIM IS GOING TO BE PARTIAL AND IMPERFECT.
PROBABLY ALL OF US KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABANDONED THEIR RELIGION BECAUSE THINGS WERE NOT GOING THE WAY THEY WANTED THEM TO, AND THEY CONCLUDED THAT EITHER THERE WASN'T A GOD, OR GOD COULD CARE LESS. AND WHEN SOMEONE DECIDES TO GO TO A DIFFERENT CHURCH OR EVEN JOIN A DIFFERENT CHRISTIAN BODY, HOW OFTEN DO WE HEAR THE EXCUSE THAT THEY DID THIS BECAUSE THAT OTHER BODY WAS MORE LIVELY, THE SERMONS WERE BETTER, THE SOCIAL LIFE WAS MORE FUN, OR THE BEST EXCUSE OF ALL, “I WAS NOT BEING FED WHERE I WAS.” THOSE WHO ABANDONED THEIR RELIGION, AND THOSE WHO SEEK FROM RELIGION SOME SORT OF ONGOING CONSOLATION, SOCIALIZATION, OR OTHER PLEASANT SITUATION, HAVE BRUSHED UP AGAINST THE DARK NIGHT AND RUN OFF SCREAMING.
IN THE PAIN OF MOTHER THERESA WE SEE THAT SHE DID COUNT THE COST, SHE DID HATE, OR DETACH HERSELF, FROM EVERYTHING THAT JESUS ASKED HER TO – AND THEN SHE WAITED – AND WAITED – AND WAITED SOME MORE, FOR GOD TO FILL UP THE GREAT HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER BEING. AND SHE GOT UP EVERY MORNING AND FELT DRY AND ARID, BUT PRAYED AGAIN BEFORE THE BLESSED SACRAMENT. SHE WENT OUT AND TENDED HER SICK AND DYING; SHE PRESENTED THE FACE OF CHRIST TO ALL SHE MET, SHE KEPT UP A PUBLIC APPEARANCE WHICH REFLECTED WHAT SHE TRULY BELIEVED, BUT WHAT SHE NO LONGER FELT. AND SHE SUFFERED IN WAYS WE CAN ONLY IMAGINE AS SHE WAITED AND WAITED.
AND GOD PURIFED HER THROUGH THIS DARK NIGHT, AND HER STEADFASTNESS AND PERSISTENCE PAID OFF, AND SHE PROBABLY SLIPPED EASILY INTO HEAVEN TO FINALLY UNITE COMPLETELY WITH THE ONE SHE LOVED WITH AN EXCLUSIVE LOVE, ALL HER LIFE.
WE WILL ALL HAVE A DARK NIGHT; SOME OF US ARE ALREADY IN IT, SOME MAY HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT. SOME WILL FEEL THE DARK NIGHT COMING OVER THEM AND WILL TURN AROUND AND RUN, SOME TO WHERE EVERYTHING IS MORE COMFORTABLE, AND THEY DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL CHALLENGED; AND OTHERS TO DESPAIR, TO THE STATE IN WHICH THEY SAY THERE IS NOTHING BUT THIS LIFE, I WILL NOT WASTE MY TIME ON A GOD THAT I DON'T EVEN FEEL EXISTS. LET US PRAY THAT WE WILL HAVE THE STRENGTH FROM GOD AND THE GRACE TO LIVE THROUGH OUR OWN DARK NIGHTS, TO DETACH OURSELVES, ONE BY ONE, FROM ALL THAT WE LOVE – SO THAT WE CAN PUT JESUS FIRST IN OUR LIVES.