Tenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, cycle A

MATTHEW 9:9-13
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT STORY FROM THE GOSPEL OF LUKE? PETER AND HIS CREW HAVE BEEN FISHING ALL NIGHT, AND HAVEN'T CAUGHT A THING. THEN JESUS TELLS THEM TO GO OUT IN DEEP WATER AND LET DOWN THEIR NETS. WELL MORNING WAS NOT A GREAT TIME, AND DEEP WATER WAS NOT A GREAT PLACE, TO EXPECT TO CATCH FISH, BUT PETER OBEYED, AND THE NEXT THING THEY KNEW THEY NEARLY SWAMPED THEIR BOATS WITH FISH. AND PETER FELL TO HIS KNEES AND SAID, “DEPART FROM ME, LORD, FOR I AM A SINFUL MAN.”
PETER IS WELL-CHARACTERIZED IN THE GOSPELS. HE HAS TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING WHAT JESUS IS TALKING ABOUT. HE IS LOYAL, HE IS LOUD, HE SPEAKS BEFORE THINKING, HE MAKES PROMISES HE DOESN'T KEEP, AND EVEN AFTER JESUS DIES AND ASCENDS INTO HEAVEN, EVEN AFTER PETER BECOMES THE LEADER OF THE CHRISTIAN BODY, HE STILL IS SOMETIMES UNCERTAIN, AND SOMETIMES DEAD WRONG, AS WHEN HE DECIDED NOT TO EAT WITH GENTILE CHRISTIANS, AND PAUL HAD TO REPRIMAND HIM.
WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH PETER'S MIND WHEN HE ACCUSED HIMSELF OF BEING A SINNER? I DOUBT PETER HAD EVER DONE ANYTHING WE WOULD CONSIDER REALLY BAD. BUT MAYBE THAT MORNING, HE HAD QUARRELED WITH HIS WIFE. MAYBE HE COULD HAVE BEEN MORE GENEROUS WHEN THEY PASSED THE COLLECTION PLATE DOWN AT THE SYNAGOGUE, BUT WASN'T. HE MAY HAVE PASSED A BEGGAR ON THE STREET AND LOOKED THE OTHER WAY. HE MAY HAVE DRUNK MORE WINE THAN HE SHOULD HAVE AT THAT WEDDING HE HAD ATTENDED A FEW WEEKS AGO.
SO WE ARE ALL LIKE PETER. OUR DAYS ARE FILLED WITH NOT QUITE MEETING THE MARK, FORGETTING THE WORDS AND EXAMPLE OF JESUS, SAYING AND DOING THINGS THAT WE LATER REGRET, NOT SAYING AND NOT DOING THINGS THAT WE SHOULD HAVE SAID OR DONE. IS THERE A DAY IN YOUR LIFE OR MINE WHEN WE CAN TRULY SAY, “I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT TODAY, I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING IF I COULD.”
AND YOU KNOW, WE ALL ACCEPT THAT WE AREN'T PERFECT; AND WE FORGIVE OURSELVES, AND GO ON AND TRY TO DO BETTER THEN NEXT DAY.
AND PETER WAS NO DIFFERENT, UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT – THE MOMENT WHEN HE SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT HE WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF THE DIVINE, AND HE LOOKED AT HIS OWN LIFE, THE LIFE WHICH UP UNTIL THEN HE HAD THOUGHT WAS PRETTY GOOD – AND SUDDENLY SAW THAT IN THE LIGHT OF THE DIVINE, HE WAS HOPELESS, HE COULD NOT CLAIM TO EVEN A LITTLE GOODNESS, HE WAS A BUNDLE OF SELFISHNESS AND MORAL FAILURE AND THE FACT THAT HE HADN'T DONE ANYTHING TERRIBLY WRONG WAS MORE DUE TO LACK OF OPPORTUNITY AND FEAR OF BEING FOUND OUT THAN ANY GOODNESS ON HIS PART. AND HE CRIED OUT, “DEPART FROM ME, LORD, FOR I AM A SINFUL MAN.”
IN TODAY'S GOSPEL WE MEET OUR OLD FRIENDS THE PHARISEES. THEY COULD NOT SAY “I AM A SINFUL MAN” BECAUSE THEY DEFINED THEMSELVES BY THEIR PURITY, THEIR STRICT ADHERENCE TO THE LAW. THEY NOT ONLY FOLLOWED THE LAW PERFECTLY, BUT THEY AVOIDED ANYTHING THAT EVEN REMOTELY COULD CAUSE THEM TO BREAK THE LAW. AND FOR THAT REASON, THEY WOULD NEVER ASSOCIATE WITH A SINNER.
AND JESUS SAYS TO THEM, “I DID NOT COME TO CALL THE RIGHTEOUS, BUT SINNERS.” THE PHARISEES, IF THEY WOULD HAVE HONESTLY EXAMINED THEMSELVES IN THE BRILLIANT LIGHT OF THE DIVINE, AS PETER DID, WOULD HAVE COME TO THE SAME CONCLUSION PETER DID, “I AM A SINFUL MAN”. BUT THEY DID NOT, AND JESUS KNEW THAT HE COULD NOT DO A THING FOR THEM UNTIL THEY RECOGNIZED THAT THERE WAS NO HOPE EXCEPT FOR WHAT HE COULD DO FOR THEM.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU AND I? ARE WE CONSCIOUS OF THE CALL OF JESUS, THE CALL THAT OFFERS US THE FATHER'S MERCY, THE CALL THAT HOLDS A PROMISE TO HEAL US, TO ACCEPT US AS WE ARE, TO TAKE OUR MISERABLE HUMANITY AND FORM IT INTO DIVINITY?
WELL, WE CAN'T HEAR THE CALL UNLESS WE KNOW DEEP DOWN IN OUR HEARTS THAT WE ARE SINNERS. WE HAVE TO SEE THAT OUR PETTY LITTLE FAULTS AND FAILURES MAKE US MUCH MORE LIKE ADOLF HITLER OR A MASS MURDERER THAN LIKE JESUS CHRIST. WE HAVE TO SEE THAT WHAT WE THINK ARE LITTLE QUIRKS AND MERE HUMAN FAILINGS ARE VERY SERIOUS IN GOD'S EYES. WE HAVE TO SEE WHAT GOD WANTS US TO BECOME, AND HOW FAR WE ARE FROM THAT GOAL BECAUSE OF OUR OWN FREE WILL. AND ONLY THEN WILL WE BE ABLE TO HEAR THE CALL OF JESUS THAT IS THE ONLY HOPE WE HAVE.
SAINT MATTHEW KNEW HE DIDN'T MEET THE MARK. HE KNEW THAT BEING A TAX COLLECTOR, WORKING FOR THE ROMANS, WHILE NOT SINFUL IN ITSELF, WAS FULL OF OPPORTUNITIES TO SIN. AND MATTHEW DIDN'T CHEAT OUTRIGHT, BUT SINCE HIS LIVELIHOOD DEPENDED ON THE TAXES HE COLLECTED, HE PROBABLY THOUGHT OF HIMSELF BEFORE THE PEOPLE FROM WHOM HE COLLECTED TAXES, AND THE ROMANS TO WHOM HE GAVE THEM. THAT WOULD BE THE HUMAN THING TO DO. AND EVEN WHEN HE DIDN'T SLIP A LITTLE, THE VERY ACT OF COLLECTING TAXES MADE HIS CUSTOMERS TRY TO CHEAT, TO HOLD BACK; IT MADE THEM SIN, IT MADE THEM BECOME LESS HUMAN. BEING A TAX COLLECTOR WAS ALMOST A RECIPE FOR BEING IMMERSED IN SIN. BUT SO IS JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE WE HUMANS CAN DO.
MATTHEW RECOGNIZES THAT HE IS A SINNER, AND FINDS HIMSELF DINING WITH CHRIST, WHILE THE PHARISEES ARE OUT IN THE COLD. MATTHEW HEARS THE CALL OF JESUS, AND THE PHARISEES DO NOT.
TODAY, LET US BE CONSCIOUS OF THE FACT THAT WE ARE SINNERS, AND THAT LIKE PETER, LIKE MATTHEW, LET US REALIZE THAT WE CAN'T ESCAPE THIS REALITY. AND ONCE WE KNOW THIS, NOT JUST IN OUR MINDS BUT IN THE DEEPEST PARTS OF OUR SELVES, ONCE THIS HAPPENS, WE WILL HEAR THE VOICE OF JESUS CALLING US.