Matthew 18:15 - 20
I really like to avoid conflict. And yet I’ve met people who seem to enjoy it. Fortunately there aren’t too many of them. But there are two natural responses to conflict -- fight and flight. I usually choose flight. In my career as a physician, though, there were times when I had to correct a person who reported to me in the chain of command. I would bring the person into my office, close the door, and in a calm voice, express my concern about a particular behavior. Naturally the individual would deny that there was a problem, and point out that other people did worse. I would point out other instances of the behavior in an attempt to show that this was a habit. And back and forth it would go, until we grudgingly agreed that the person would try to modify his behavior, even though he didn’t think it was a problem. And things didn’t change very much at all.
Many years later, though, I was not adapting to some new procedures in our department, which had been imposed by the health care system I worked for. I was resisting not on principle, but largely because I did not like being told what to do by people who weren’t physicians. Then one day I got called in by my superior, who was accompanied by a member of the administration, and I was told in a calm voice to adapt. I began to make my excuses. My boss said we weren’t going there; we had invested a lot in the new system and my choices were to adapt or to think about finding some other place to work. I adapted, and after a while became a “super user” who taught others how to negotiate the procedures involved.
Today Jesus invites us to go into those situations which I would rather avoid, situations which we can expect will cause adrenaline to flow. In the original Greek, the gospel says “If you fellow disciple sins (and we aren’t sure whether the words “against you” were in the original)” go and point out their fault, just between the two of you, and if he listens, you have won him over.” The really important point is that your goal is to win your brother or sister over -- to get them to stop the sin. What you are supposed to do is done out of love, because you want that brother or sister in heaven and you know that if they persist in the sin, this makes heaven less likely. That’s why you escalate; if your little talk doesn’t work, get someone to go with you, The importance of this step is two-fold; you want to show the sinner that this is serious, but at the same time, you want to make sure they see the sin the same way you do. And if this doesn’t work, go to the whole assembly. Because we are our brother’s keeper; we all have an interest in his salvation; it really matters enough to put us into this uncomfortable conflict.
Now Jesus isn’t saying that we should go around looking for trouble, going up to people on the street and telling them to put on their masks, for God’s sake! Jesus is clear about what he is talking about is fellow disciples; people who have already committed to following the way of Jesus. Our obligation to people of other religions or no religion at all is different. That is why logic and appeal to moral principles almost never works; ultimately conversion requires a good example on our part and the grace of God on his. The point Jesus is making is that we in this church, St. Mary’s in Longmeadow, are responsible for each other.
Now what happens when someone doesn’t listen to the Church? Jesus tells us to treat them like tax collectors or gentiles. What does that mean? Do we shun them, have nothing to do with them? That has been one interpretation. In Amish communities being shunned is a terrible experience. You are treated as though you don’t exist, even by members of your family. That sometimes makes the shunned person come back into the community. Shunning works, sometimes. But think about how Jesus treated gentiles and tax collectors. He healed the servant of the centurion; he healed the Syrophoenician woman. He commended Naaman the Syrian, who had been healed by Elishsa, and the Widow of Naim, who had been saved from starvation by Elijah. And tax collectors. He was notorious for eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners. And the man who wrote the gospel we have just been listening to was a tax collector. If we are going to treat those who are sinners and refuse to change their ways as Jesus did, that means that after we’ve done everything we can to get them to put the sin behind them and return to the community, we still hold out hope, we still never forget that they are brothers and sisters, that they are always welcome in the beloved community to which they once belonged.
Jesus says some other things in this gospel passage that make more sense when you realize he is talking to his disciples, not the world at large. “Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven...” In Judaism of that time, binding and loosing were things that only the authorities could do. Jesus is telling us that the authority is given to our community. And the same is true of his promise that where two or three are gathered together in his name he is there. He promises that he will accompany his disciples as they work together to bring about His kingdom. And the promise that if two of us agree about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father? That's a hard one, and we could spend a few hours on the subject of unanswered prayers. But I like the story of the little boy who told his parents he wanted to be a cowboy when he grew up. Years later, when he graduated from high school, he said he wanted to be a lawyer. His father bcame very upset. “We've scrimped and saved all these years to buy you a ranch so you could be a cowboy!” his father yelled. “But dad,” why did you listen to me? I was only five years old” replied the son.
So we have heard Jesus giving us clear directions about some of our responsibilities to each other. On this Sunday we should ask ourselves whether we are following what he has commanded us to do.
