Today we celebrate the fact that the infinite God chose to become one of us, a human being. And tonight I’d like for us to meditate on that. Because God did not send Jesus to us as a fully formed perfect adult -- although we believe he was exactly that at the time of his crucifixion, and probably before that as well. Why do I say this? The gospel of Luke says that he advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man. And we see Jesus learning things in his adult life. “Blessed are you, Simon, son of John, because this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my father in heaven.” Or when he heals the centurion’s servant -- Truly I say to you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith!” Or, to Nathaniel, “Here is an Israelite with no deceit” And you could find other examples as well. And we know Jesus ate and drank, and undoubtedly had other physical functions like you and I. And we know he wept, he got angry, he was exasperated when his disciples couldn’t understand what he was talking about. Jesus was physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually a real human being, always learning, always changing, always having real emotions.
And the question is, how did God accomplish this? By the Holy Spirit he was incarnate of the Virgin Mary. But that was only the beginning.
We believe Mary was a perfect human being -- born without original sin, fully cooperating with the will of the Father, so blessed that she shared in Jesus’ passion as she stood at the foot of the cross. Perfect, by the way, means that you do everything the way it is supposed to be done. It doesn’t mean you are superman or superwoman. But Joseph had to be a perfect human being as well. Not born without original sin, but maybe cleansed afterwards, like we believe was the case with John the Baptist. And why? Because Jesus needed a perfect family to become a perfect human being himself. Vatican II recognized Joseph’s status when his name was inserted into the Eucharistic prayer -- before all the other saints except Mary herself.
Matthew and Luke both testify to the fact that Jesus’ conception took place in Mary after she was betrothed to Joseph. God waited until there was a family, even though Joseph and Mary had not begun living together. But they were truly married, because Joseph, learning that Mary was pregnant, wanted to divorce her quietly. You don’t have to get a divorce if you are merely engaged. And I might add that Mary probably told Joseph what had happened, and Joseph believed her, and in his humility, he wanted to step aside and not interfere with God’s plan -- until he was told “Do not be afraid to take Mary into your home”.
Let’s look into that home. First, Mary and Joseph truly loved each other. Both were chaste, but chastity is a virtue that helps us integrate our sexuality into our humanity. The catechism of the Catholic Church says, “the virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship; it leads to spiritual communion.” Mary and Joseph were not just good friends; there was true marital love. And that was important for Jesus’ developing humanity. Saint Augustine said that in the marriage of Joseph and Mary, all the goods of marriage were realized. Offspring -- Jesus; fidelity -- total commitment to each other; and sacrament -- since there was no divorce.
The second thing about the home is that Jesus' needs were provided for. He did not starve to death because Joseph earned a living and Mary prepared the meals. He was clothed because of his parents; he was taught to speak by his mother and father. His father taught him how to be a good Jew and a good carpenter and through his own example, a good man. Mary gave birth to Jesus, and that’s not a small thing; but from that time until the death of Joseph, Jesus’ body, his well-being, his education, his spiritual development, and even his psychological make up were being formed by Joseph and Mary. .
The third thing, and this takes a little explaining, is that Jesus was made to feel valued. There are three kinds of conversation -- one is transactional, an exchange of information. The second is called positional -- when you trust someone enough to give your opinion. The third is transformational -- when you truly value what the other is saying. It turns out that this third kind of conversation is very important for a person to become psychologically mature; there is evidence that people exposed to transformational conversation develop changes in the brain which go along with developing empathy and the virtue of kindness.
So what does this have to do with us?
First, I suspect that you and I did not have perfect parents. But because we have been baptized into Jesus, we can call upon Mary and Joseph to make up for all those imperfections our parents had; we can ask them to parent us.
Second, we can try to imitate the holy family. The friendship between Mary and Joseph should illuminate our own friendships. Friendship, after all, is one of the greatest goods. Jesus told his apostles, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I now call you friends, because everything I learned from the Father I have made known to you.” Ideal friendship, between husband and wife, between parent and child, between any real friends, should have the quality of transformational communication -- I truly value what you say, because I value you, even if I disagree with you. Transformational communication seeks the meeting of minds, the overcoming of personal barriers.
Finally, we should ask for the intercession of the Holy Family in our world which so desperately needs what they have to offer -- because Mary and Joseph formed the man who would be the Prince of Peace, and he is the only answer to the world’s problems.
