John 21:1 -19
My grandmother on my father's side
stood out among all my relatives. She was a hugger. My mother's
parents were both first generation German, and the ten children grew
up on a farm. They showed affection by teasing each other, but
didn't hug. My Grandfather on my Father's side didn't hug either,
and none of my cousins did at least when we were kids. And my wife
comes from a similar background of non-huggers. I think one of the
reasons we were attracted to each other was because we didn't
naturally hug. Nevertheless, we ended up with six children. We
didn't think our family was unusual until one day we were at church
somewhere in another town, and at the sign of peace, several people
turned to each other and hugged. At that my youngest daughter, about
six I think, tugged on my coat and with a worried expression on her
face, remarked, “Dad, Higbys don't hug.”.
A lot of people, myself included, have
problems with intimacy. Couples are often counseled to say, “I
love you” to each other frequently. That's because intimacy has to
be expressed. I think among some couples and in some families it
takes a lifetime to develop real intimacy, and it's not helped when a
child who has reached out is ignored or even rebuffed. And it
happens a lot, even when a parent means well or doesn't recognize
that cry for intimacy.
In our Gospel reading, we need to
recall that other time when there was a charcoal fire – when Peter
was warming himself in the courtyard of the high priest. And Peter
three times denied that he knew Jesus, just as Jesus had predicted.
Luke says that after this denial Jesus glanced at him and Peter went
out and wept. Think of how Peter must have felt. He had been one of
Jesus' closest friends; he'd been the first to recognize that Jesus
was the Messiah. He'd been told that he was the rock on which Jesus
would build his church. He'd even sworn that he would die with
Jesus. And after the three-fold denial, he didn't even have an
opportunity to beg Jesus for forgiveness. I don't know if any of the
other apostles witnessed this; it seems when you read the gospels
that only Peter got into that courtyard. But I wonder about those
days after the Resurrection. When Jesus first appeared, did Peter
dare look him in the eye? And the second time, when Thomas was
there, was Peter off in the corner hoping he wouldn't be noticed?
And then they go back to Galilee and wait. And finally Peter, fed up
with standing around waiting, tells the others he is going fishing.
And off they go.
When we are ashamed of something we've
done, we often retreat into the familiar. That was a common response
among my children. We'd have an argument, and it often ended with
the child going to her room and closing the door, sometimes
forcefully. Peter was no different. He was a fisherman, and this
was an honorable profession. He probably enjoyed his work and his
place in the community. Filled with shame, he hoped that going out
on the water and doing what he did best would help. But it didn't.
The whole night they caught nothing. You could say that without
Jesus, their efforts were wasted and I think that's something the
gospel writer wants us to think about, especially when the stranger
on the shore tells them to throw the net on the other side of the
boat – and they make a huge catch. And then they recognize that it
is the Lord.
Peter has lived with his shame and by
now wants desperately to apologize; he throws himself into the water
and is the first one by the charcoal fire. It says the apostles knew
it was the Lord but none dared say anything. Perhaps they all were
feeling a little shame, having deserted him when he needed them the
most.
Peter is a nickname. The Lord gave it
to Simon. It means “Rocky” or something like that. I suspect
Jesus was referring to Peter's future role – that he would be the
rock on which Jesus' church would be built -- but maybe there was
irony here as well. Rocky had crumpled at the first sign of
pressure, there on that awful night. Notice that the Lord does not
use the nickname here. He calls Peter by his given name, Simon, son
of John. That's formal; Jesus is being very serious. I am sure
seared into Peter's memory is that threefold denial by a charcoal
fire. And Jesus invites Peter to revisit that moment of betrayal. He
doesn't point out that Peter betrayed him. He doesn't make excuses
for Peter, or gloss over what happened. Jesus says, “Do you love
me more than these?” Many authorities think “these” refers to
Peter's trade, his family, his home, his boat – the comfortable
life he left to follow Jesus. The gospel writer has Jesus using the
word for sacrificial love, agape. Peter responds that he loves Jesus
using the word meaning love between brothers, philo. Jesus asks a
second time, using the word for sacrificial love, and again Peter in
reply uses the word for brotherly love. Finally, Jesus in his third
question, uses the word for brotherly love, to which Peter, now hurt
by the repeated questioning, replies that Jesus knows everything, he
knows Peter loves him – like a brother. We don't pick up this
exchange because we only use one word for love. But I think we miss
something that was probably understood by the people who read this
gospel in the original – Peter has learned from his own experience
that he can't trust himself to love in that sacrificial way, and when
he admits that, twice, Jesus lets him off the hook by using the word
for brotherly love himself.
It might have sounded something like
this: Jesus: Simon Johnson, is your love for me stronger than your
love for anything else? Peter: Yes, Lord, you are like a brother to
me. Jesus: Simon Johnson, is your love for me strong enough to die
for me? Peter: Yes Lord, you are like my own flesh and blood.
Jesus: Simon Johnson, do you love me like a brother, at least?
Peter: Lord, you know all things, you know I love you like a
brother!. Now when Jesus goes on to predict how Peter will die, it
makes a little more sense. Jesus is essentially saying that you may
not love me enough to die for me now, but someday you will.
This gospel tells us that true
knowledge of God requires intimacy – with the person of Jesus, who
is God's word. And intimacy must be expressed. We are seeing more
and more people label themselves as spiritual but not religious. A
lot of bad things have happened because of religious people, its
true. But real love, intimate love, needs to be expressed. That's
what worship is all about, the kneeling and standing, the singing of
hymns, the recitation of the Lord's prayer together, the very act of
coming to church rather than finding something more exciting or
interesting to do. And Peter is on his way to learning that.
And I think huggers have an advantage
over non-huggers, because they are comfortable expressing their
affection physically. And religious people who are spiritual have an
advantage over those who are merely spiritual for the same reason –
they have a venue where they can express their love of God among
their fellow lovers, and that at least has the potential to make love
grow.
