Fourth Sunday of Advent, cycle A

MATTHEW 1:18-24
WHEN A COUPLE GETS MARRIED, MANY THINGS CHANGE. ONE OF THE COUPLE IS USUALLY IN THE LIMELIGHT AND THE OTHER IS IN THE SHADOWS. OFTEN THE ONE IN THE LIMELIGHT IS THE MAN. I DOUBT MUCH CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT, AT LEAST DURING THIS GENERATION. IN MY OWN MARRIAGE, THIS WAS ALWAYS TRUE. IT WAS “DOCTOR AND MRS”, WHEN I BECAME A DEACON, MY WIFE WAS REFERRED TO AS “THE DEACON'S WIFE”. MY WIFE SHOWED ADMIRABLE FORBEARANCE WHEN SOMEONE WOULD TELL HER HOW HARD I WORKED DURING THE YEARS WHEN SHE HAD SIX CHILDREN THAT SHE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF AND RAISE WITH MOSTLY MORAL SUPPORT FROM ME.
AND I THINK WE BOTH TOOK ALL THIS FOR GRANTED, THIS WAS THE WAY IT WAS. UNTIL ONE DAY JOAN HAD A NEW JOB AS ORGANIST AND CHOIR DIRECTOR IN SACRED HEART CHURCH IN HOLYOKE. ONE DAY I WENT UP THERE TO HELP HER GET THE CHOIR LOFT IN ORDER. AS I WAS WALKING INTO THE CHURCH, THE CUSTODIAN ASKED ME WHO I WAS. I SAID I HAD COME TO HELP MY WIFE WHO WAS THE ORGANIST. HE WALKED ALONG WITH ME AND INTRODUCED ME TO SOME PEOPLE. “THIS IS THE HUSBAND OF OUR ORGANIST,” HE SAID. IT WAS A STRANGE FEELING, FOR ONCE IN MY ADULT LIFE TO BE IDENTIFIED BY MY RELATIONSHIP TO SOMEONE ELSE.
THE GOSPEL TODAY MADE ME THINK ABOUT THAT. JOSEPH, UP UNTIL NOW, HAD CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS IN LIFE. HE HAD LEARNED A TRADE, AND PROBABLY MADE A REASONABLE LIVING. HE WAS ENGAGED, AND HE FULLY EXPECTED THAT IN THE NEAR FUTURE HE WOULD SETTLE DOWN WITH THE GIRL HE LOVED AND THEY WOULD HAVE A FAMILY. SHE WOULD BE JOSEPH'S WIFE. THE CHILDREN WOULD BE “JOSEPH'S CHILDREN”. HE WOULD TEACH THE BOYS HIS TRADE AND HE WOULD SELECT THE HUSBANDS FOR HIS DAUGHTERS. HE WOULD BE FATHER, AND GRANDFATHER, AND MAYBE WHILE HE STILL LIVED A GREAT-GRANDFATHER, AND HE WOULD BE A PATRIARCH, AT LEAST FOR THE LITTLE TRIBE THAT CLAIMED DESCENT FROM HIM. IT WASN'T THAT HE WAS PROUD, OR SELFISH; IT WAS JUST THE WAY THINGS WERE, AND HE GAVE THANKS FOR IT.
AND THEN HIS WORLD COMES APART. MARY IS PREGNANT. I SUSPECT THAT WHEN THIS FACT BECAME OBVIOUS, MARY OFFERED NO EXPLANATION. WHO WOULD BELIEVE WHAT HAD HAPPENED? CAN YOU IMAGINE THE EMOTIONS GOING THROUGH JOSEPH'S HEART? ANGER, FEELING LIKE A FOOL, EMBARRASSMENT – BUT MOSTLY, FEELING LIKE A FOOL. AND THEN, IN A DREAM, HE LEARNS SOMETHING. MARY IS NOT FOR HIM; JUST THE OPPOSITE; HIS PURPOSE, THE REASON HE WAS CREATED, WAS TO BE FOR HER AND FOR THE SON SHE CARRIED. JOSEPH OBEYED. HAD HE CONDEMNED MARY, HIS REPUTATION WOULD BE INTACT. HAD HE DIVORCED HER QUIETLY, AS WAS HIS PLAN, EVERYONE WOULD HAVE PRAISED HIS MERCY, AND WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM HOW LUCKY HE WAS TO HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. BUT INSTEAD, HE TOOK UPON HIMSELF THE GOSSIP, THE TEASING, BEING LOOKED DOWN ON. I CAN ALMOST SEE HIS MOTHER TEARFULLY SAYING “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” BECAUSE MOTHERS WERE THE SAME THEN AS NOW.
AND IF JOSEPH THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END OF IT, IT WASN'T. WHO DO YOU THINK DELIVERED JESUS WHEN HE WAS BORN THERE IN A COLD STABLE IN BETHLEHEM? AND JUST WHEN THINGS SEEMED TO FINALLY BE SETTLING DOWN, JOSEPH IS TOLD TO GET UP AND TAKE HIS WIFE AND THE BOY TO EGYPT OF ALL PLACES. AND SO IT WENT FOR THE REST OF JOSEPH'S LIFE. MARY WAS NOT FOR HIM, JESUS WAS NOT THE SON WHO WOULD CARRY ON HIS NAME – HE, JOSEPH, HAD BEEN CREATED FOR THEM. AND A DAY CAME WHEN HE LAY DYING AND LOOKED AT THE WIFE HE HAD LOVED AND THE BOY HE HAD GROWN TO LOVE, AND HE REMEMBERED THE DREAM – WHEN THE ANGEL HAD SAID TO NAME THE BOY JESUS, BECAUSE HE WOULD SAVE HIS PEOPLE, AND THAT HE WOULD BE CALLED IMMANUEL, SIGNIFYING THAT GOD IS WITH US. AND THE BOY HAD TURNED INTO A YOUNG MAN, A COMPETENT CARPENTER, TO BE SURE, A MORAL AND UPRIGHT MAN, JOSEPH WAS PROUD OF THAT, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE HAD A HAND IN RAISING HIM RIGHT, BUT HE COULD SEE NO SIGN OF GREATNESS AND MAYBE HE WONDERED THEN, WAS IT ONLY A DREAM? BECAUSE IN THE END, EVEN THE GREATEST OF SAINTS MUST SOONER OR LATER FACE A MOMENT WHEN FAITH ALONE SUSTAINS THEM, NOT PROOF, NOT CERTAINTY, BUT SIMPLY CHOOSING TO BELIEVE.
I THINK IT IS NATURAL, NOT EVIL, NOT GOOD, JUST NATURAL, FOR EVERY HUMAN BEING TO SEE HIMSELF OR HERSELF AS THE CENTER AROUND WHICH EVERYTHING ELSE REVOLVES. SOME OF US COME TO AT LEAST INTELLECTUALLY APPRECIATE THAT GOD IS CENTER, BUT EVEN THEN, IT IS GOD, THEN ME, THEN EVERYONE ELSE. WHAT A DIFFICULT THING IT IS TO CONFRONT THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS THE CENTER, AND I AM HERE FOR THAT PERSON, THE REASON I EXIST IN THIS TIME AND SPACE IS FOR SOMEONE ELSE. THAT IT IS GOD FIRST, ANOTHER PERSON SECOND, ANOTHER PERSON WHO GOD MADE ME FOR; AND ME A DISTANT THIRD. AND MAYBE I AM HERE FOR MY SPOUSE, MY CHILD, MY NEIGHBOR, MY PARENT, MY STUDENT, MY EMPLOYER, MY EMPLOYEE. BUT ALTHOUGH SEEING THE WORLD IN THIS WAY SEEMS UNNATURAL, IT SHOULDN'T SURPRISE US. BECAUSE JOSEPH DISCOVERED THAT HE WAS HERE FOR MARY, AND HE AND MARY WERE HERE FOR JESUS. AND JESUS IS THE PERSON WHO IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF BEING FOR OTHERS; HE IS THE ONE WHO EMPTIES HIMSELF OUT AND GIVES HIMSELF AWAY SO THAT THERE IS NOTHING LEFT, EVEN THE LIFELESS BODY ON THE CROSS IS NOT HIS, FOR HE HAS GIVEN THAT TO US AS WELL TO BE OUR SPIRITUAL FOOD AND DRINK.
ON THIS LAST SUNDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS, THINK ABOUT ST. JOSEPH, AND PICTURE HIM, NOT MEETING AN ANGEL IN HIS DREAMS, NOT DRAMATICALLY FLEEING TO EGYPT – BUT GETTING UP EVERY MORNING, PUTTING IN A HARD DAY BUILDING AND REPAIRING THINGS UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE LIGHT; FALLING INTO BED EXHAUSTED ONLY TO GET UP AGAIN. AND LIVING IN A TOWN WHERE EVEN MANY YEARS LATER, SOME OF THE OLD LADIES AND OLD GENTLEMEN AS WELL TOLD THE STORY ABOUT HOW MARY HAD BEEN QUITE PREGNANT WHEN THE TWO OF THEM HAD GOTTEN MARRIED. AND EVERY DAY, JOSEPH EMPTIED HIMSELF OUT FOR MARY, FOR JESUS.
AND HE LIVED OUT HIS LIFE BEING FOR OTHERS. AND MAYBE THAT'S WERE JESUS LEARNED THE CORE MESSAGE THAT HE TAUGHT AND THAT HE LIVED. AND MAY ST. JOSEPH HELP EACH OF US TO DISCOVER THAT THIS IS OUR VOCATION AS WELL, FOR EACH OF US WAS PUT HERE FOR SOMEONE ELSE.